Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Nasaan Ang Mga Buwaya Tanong ni Ondoy





Maraming mga bugok na tao na nagpakalat ng mga text messages na may mga nakawala raw na mga “buwaya” mula sa Malakanyang, ay este mula sa mga zoos sa kasagsagan ng bagyo. Ang alam ko lang eh naglulutangan yung mga crocs na tsinelas nung bumuha…

Hay naku, di na nga tumutulong eh nanggugulo pa! Grrr….Kung buwaya lang ako eh nilapa ko na sila ng buhay. Yum...yum...

Pero, yun nga…di ba kung mataas ang tubig ay dapat nagsasaya at nakawala ang mga buwaya?

Bakit missing in action yata ang mga “buwaya” ng gobyerno? Natatakot silang malunod o maputikan ang mga signature clothes nila na Armani at shoes na Gucci from their shopping spree sa U.S.?


Aba, muka yatang natatakot sila na mabawasan ang kanilang mga “pork barrel” pang-donate sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo dahil nga naman sa malapit na ang eleksyon?

Merong nangdonate na politiko, P250,000, wow! Astig, generous etech! Ang problema kamo, eh sa networth nya na hundreds of millions at sa dami ng ari-arian (at sympre babae), aba eh, barya lang to mga tolits…malaki pa nga ang pinatatalo niya sa sugal at kubra sa jueteng. Anak ng jueting nga naman!

At sympre, di nagpatalo ang Pangulo at ang mga Cabinet Secretaries sa pagrampa sa center stage ng pabongahan. TTTKA (Time To Totally Kick Ass!) ika nga. Dinonate ang dalawang buwang sweldo! Akalain mo yun, when it rains, it pours! Parang Ondoy ang syle. Wow, generous ang mga to, pwede ng magkaroon nga mga rebulto sa Monumento! Ang siste nga lang eh, barya lang ang dinonate kung ikokompara sa networth ni Ate Glow na more than one hundred million kung tama ang hula ng bolang kristal ko at bulong ni Madam Rosa! At barya lang ang mga dinonate ng mga alalay niya, mas mahal pa ang mga tsikot nila at dinner sa Le Cirque at pagupit at foot spa at wig na nakapatong sa panot na bumbunan.

Sabihin ng iba na naman sa akin….Hey you, shut up jerk! Buti nga may mga tinulong eh! You should be tweeting this instead of your silly antics and rants.

Ano daw sili at langgam? You shut up duffy duck!

Pasensya na tolits clean living na ako, pero kung ako kasi may 100 million pesos sa bank account ko at maraming babae, hindi ako magdadalawang isip magdonate ng 5 million pesos o higit pa at ipagrepack ng mga de lata at noodles at bigas ang mga chicka babes ko buong magdamag, kesa chumurva lang sila sa high-end na mga resto at bars!

Kaya lang eh, singkong duling lang meron ako sa bulsa, kaya ilang latang sardinas na mabuti sa puso at noodles na NAPA ang ibinigay ko…at mga lumang maaayos pang mga damit ang donation ng iyong lingkod.

See? Who is the real croc now? Buti nga sana kung naging croc na lang ako at lalamunin ko ng buo ang mga politikong kapag kampanya eh napupuntahan maski lungga ng langgam at kasuluksulukan ng tambayan ng mga dagang palay…ngayong may kalamidad eh, hindi na makita kung saan.

Susmaryusep! Baka nag-didinner uli sa Le Cirque....


Imahe mula sa Daily Mail



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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Warning: Vote at Your Own Risk Fellow Noypi!




Malapit na naman ang eleksyon!

Eto ang mga mumunting babala at patnubay bago bomoto.

“Vote at your own risk!”

Kapag binoto mo ang mga Presidentiables na ito, ihanda mo na ang iyong sarili, dahil maaring umuwi ka mula sa presinto na bahag ang buntot:


1. Manny Villar – maaring lumuwa ang iyong buwa at bigla na lang magkakaroon ng C5 extension sa gitna ng subdivision ninyo

2. Gibo Teodoro – humandang magmukang “balot”

3. Bayani Fernando – tanggapin ang hamon na sa malamang araw-araw kang magsusuot ng pink cap, t-shirt, sneakers at underwear…maaring papipinturahan rin ang inyong bahay at bakod ng kulay pink…at may libreng pink na contact lens and braces

4. Noynoy Aquino – sa mga kalalakihan, maaring unti-unting mawalan ng buhok; sa mga kababaihan, humanda sa posibilidad na maibenta ang bahay nyo para pangsuporta sa kandidatura ni Noynoy

5. Jejomar Binay – sa malamang magreretiro kayo ng maaga at manonood na lang lagi ng libreng sine sa Makati, na may libreng bag, libreng lapis, libreng snacks, libreng notebook…pati kabaong libre na rin

6. Erap Estrada – malaki ang tsansa mong manalo ng jackpot sa jueteng; ngayon pa lang mag-isip na ng lucky numbers

7. Loren Legarda – maghilod na ng likod ng matanggal ang mga buni, an-an at di kanais-nais na marka ng mga libag hanggang sa maging flawless ito, dahil sa malamang lahat ng tao ay laging magba-backless ang porma, tulad ni Legarda

8. Chiz Escudero – dapat love mo na si Bamboo ngayon pa lang, at ihanda ang loob, dahil lahat tayo ay laging magmumukang antok tulad ni Chiz dahil sa araw-araw na ulam na keso

9. Jamby Madrigalsandali sino nga pala ito? Ah…humanda na matanggalan ng mana mula sa mga magulang at mga kamag-anak; pipilitin ka ring maging malaking taga-hanga ni Juday at araw-araw gagamit ng Fitrum

Kaya nyo ba ang hamon ng pagbabago? Sino ngayon ang iboboto niyo?

Kaya sa pagboto, isaalang-alang ang mga walang-kwentang bagay na ito.


Larawan mula PinoyWorld



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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ang Wala Kong Kwentang Post About Kalembang, Puffy Whites at Banana ni Doc Z




Magtatagalog ako ngayon sa post na ito. At simula sa araw na ito, ang blog na Ani-Mo! ay magpapalit ng anyo. Darna!

Gagawin ko ang blog na ito na blog tungkol sa mga walang-kwenta kong mga guni-guni habang nagkakamot ng singit at samu't-sari kong mga naiisip kapag ako ay lulong mula sa paghit-hit ng sunog na tsinelas o di kaya kapag medyo may pera, ay Baygon.

Nakakapagod din pala maging super duper gwapong seryosong blogger na feeling political analyst sa PinoySoundingBoard. Akala ko ay matatapatan ko na si Ka Winnie o Randy David o di kaya ay si Kuya Kim. Sabi nga ng tatay ko, "loosen up, Son." Nice Pop!

Kaya eto luluwagan ko ang sinturon ko para makahinga ng mas maayos.



Isa nga pala akong manunula kuno kapag hindi ako nagpi-feeling political analyst dala ang aking notebook...at ballpen. Kung hindi ninyo alam ay my poetry blog ako kung saan dahil sa hindi ako magaling sa grammar maski sobrang hot chick yung titser ko kamukha ni Aubrey Miles sa english, kaya nagsusulat na lang ako ng tula para di makita na di ko kayang pagdugton-dugtungin ng maayos ang mga subject-verb agreement at kung ano-anu pang agreements.

Punta kayo dito: ayan...eto...ayan...yun! ang poetry blog ko. Kitams?

Magyayabang ako ng konti. Ngayon, nag-guest post din ako sa blog ni Jan at ang aking tula na "Bells and Women" ang napublish dun. Aba nagulat silang lahat at napukaw yata ang mga natutulog nilang hormones sa katawan dahil sa sensual kong tula tungkol sa mga kumakalembang na kampana. Weeh! Init. Sabi ni Jan sakin madami raw isisilang pagkatapos ng siyam na buwan pagkatapos nyang ipublish ang tula.

Tingnan nyo dito: Ayan...Liko kayo sa kanan...Ayun.

Kitams? Nag-init ba kayo? Wahahah! Ganyan talaga kapag galing seminaryo...tigang saib nila ahahah! Puro kasi kami kain lagi ng sabing, tapos papaya, tapos laro lang ng laro ng basketball. At lagi lang nakaluhod. Naaalala ko nga na ang laging kanta ng mga kasamahan ko habang tumatangis sa kadiliman ng gabi ay, "all by myself..."

Sublimation. Parang submarine. Naku phallic symbol yun ah. Tigang kaya dinaan sa tula. Tama ba Father? Wahahah!

Inimbita ako ulit, this time ni Mam Jena na mag guest post ng isang tula sa Gewgaw blog nya. Wag nyo na ipabigkas sa akin at di ko alam pano.

Ang pamagat ay "Puffy Whites", in short, sabog sa Marijuana!

Eto, basahin nyo...maganda yan. Ayun! See!

Sympre hiya naman tayo sa kagalang-galang na si Mam Jena, kaya virginal na tula ang aking ibinahagi. Baka kasi sabihin ng mga milyon-milyon nyang tagapag-basa sa buong mundo na naging ladies confession ng FHM ang blog nya.

At sympre pinoprotektahan ko rin ang aking kagalang-galang na imahe bilang kilalang wannabee political komentarista sa Pilipinas...gaya nga ng sabi ko, kapag sensual na tula ang ibahagi ko ay baka sabihin ng mga tao na libog-akong-nagkatawang-tao.

Sabi nga raw nila, ang mga tula ay hindi lamang kumakatawan sa mga salita na bumubuo dito, kundi lalong-lalo na sa mga damdamin at paninibugho ng mga taong nagsulat nito.

Kaya try ninyo kapag minsan nakaramdam kayo ng init sa katawan, alam nyo na ang gagawin. Sumulat ng tula at buksan ang aircon.

By the way, may magandang tula si Doc Z patungkol sa kanyang mga banana, "Bumili na kayo ng aking banana...sigurado akon na di kayo magsasawa." Basahin nyo at kayo na ang humusga.

Ayan, tapos na ang wala kong kwentang post. Nakahinga rin. Hay...

Ang sarap din pala magsulat ng post na wala lang. Araw-arawin ko nga.



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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Prayer for a Happy Death by President Cory Aquino



This prayer for a Happy Death was by President Cory Aquino for which she composed years back.


Almight God, most merciful Father
You alone know the time
You alone know the hour
You alone know the know the moment
When I shall breathe my last


So remind me each day most loving Father
To be the best that I can be
To be humble, to be kind
To be patient, to be true
To embrace what is good
To reject what is evil
To adore only you

When that final moment does come
Let not my love ones grieve for long
Let them comfort each other
And let them how much happiness
They brought into my life
Le them pray for me

As I will continue to pray for them
Hoping that they will always pray for each other
Let them know that they made possible
Whatever good I offered to our world
And let them realize that our separation
Is just for a short while
As we prepare for union in eternity

Our Father in heaven
You alone are my hope
You alone are my salvation

Thank you you for your unconditional love. Amen.


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Friday, September 11, 2009

Senator Manny Villar for President: Parody of his Political Advertisement



Senator Manny Villar is running for the Presidency. Watch this parody of his political advertisement and let us hear what you think.






Will you vote Senator Manny Villar for President?


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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Watch Pamela Anderson's Banned PETA Stripping Ad Video



Watch Pamela Anderson's Banned PETA Stripping Ad. entitled Cruelty Doesn't Fly. Some had refused to show the provoking video which shows Pamela Anderson trying to strip passengers of fur, leather and all animal skins.


'Cruelty Doesn't Fly'—Learn More at PETA.org.


What a way for a passenger to undergo a security check under Pamela Anderson stripping down people. Hooottt!

video from PETA.org


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Ellen DeGeneres Replaces Paula Abdul on American Idol




It is Ellen DeGeneres!

It is official and Fox announced that comedienne and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is all ready to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol for Season 9. She will join past American Idol Judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi.



Ellen DeGeneres is obviously excited on her new job trying to dissipate some frustrations of fans saying:

"Hopefully, I'm the people's point of view because I'm just like you. I sit at home and I watch it, and I don't have that technical ... I'm not looking at it in a critical way from the producer's mind. I'm looking at it as a person who is going to buy the music and is going to relate to that person."

Though Ellen DeGeneres is a first-timer on American Idol and has no in-depth training and exposure to the music industry other than as a music lover, she is expected to bring a whole new dimension to the show.



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Sunday, September 6, 2009

TheWeBlogZone is Giving Away Free Webhosting Package, Thesis Theme and $100 Cash!




Blogging on a self-hosted blog has been one of the most dramatic turnaround of my blogging adventure after a very generous blogger in the person of Jaypee sponsored my webhosting. And now I am actually having my main blog working under PinoySoundingBoard that shares to readers and visitors my personal Commentaries on Socio-Political Issues.

But for those who wants to grab the rare opportunity of owning a self-hosted blog, another generous blogger and friend named Rocky of TheWeBlogZone is running a blog contest with lots of precious prizes in store for that one lucky winner.

The prizes? Here they are:


1. One year webhosting with Hostican
2. Thesis Wordpress Theme - the best search engine optimized wordpress theme in town
3. Custom Banner/Logo – Will be done by a professional graphic designer. Satisfaction guaranteed!
4. A Problogger Book authored by Darren Rowse and Chris Garret
5. $100 payable through Paypal!!!

Guess what, Rocky has actually made the rules very easy for his readers to grab this rare opportunity and you have nothing to do but immediately visit his post on this one here.

This is actually Rocky's second contest giving away a free webhosting package with a Thesis theme and custom banner/logo with it.

So better join guys and rock the town with a great-looking blog that you could call your own.



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Friday, September 4, 2009

Mikey Arroyo's Barefaced Lies Caught on National TV



This is the video of the son of the devil herself. Caution: you will vomit from the obvious lies and grand deception that Mikey Arroyo's video on Unang Hirit are going to share over on this interview by Winnie Monsod and Igan.

Langjo, halatadong puro kasinungalingan at pangungurakot nitong Mikey Arroyo eh lulusot pa. Like mother like son talaga! Kung bulok ang puno, siguradong bulok din ang bunga!

From 5 million to 70-plus million pesos? Wow, ang lupit naman ng mga regalo sa kasal!!! Pwe! Beach house na hindi sa iyo? Baka "bitch house" kamo.



First Part of Mikey Arroyo Video with Winnie Monsod and Igan




Second Part of Mikey Arroyo Video with Winnie Monsod and Igan





What do you think Mikey Arroyo's barefaced Lies on TV? Ano ang masasabi ng sangkatauhan? Pwe! Nasusuka ako!


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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Shalani Soledad, Noynoy Aquino Girlfriend for First Lady?



Mar Roxas already parked his "pedicab" on the garage, at least on its trip for the 2010 Presidential elections.

Soon-to-be Mrs Palengkera, ooops, Mrs. Palengke rather Korina Sanchez hurled talong (eggplant), tomatoes and all sorts of vegatables in the bahay-kubo against Conrado de Quiros and detractors.

While Noynoy Aquino is set to go under the tedious process of talking and reflecting with his Creator over the weekend in order to arrive at a decision whether "to be or not to be", the hoped for next President of this funny Republic.

And her fiancee Shalani Soledad most probably is reeling and relishing over the scary yet exciting thought of becoming the First Lady of the Philippines starting June 2010.


Who could have thought that while everyone was already building up with the hype of the popular broadcaster Korina Sanchez becoming the next First Lady due to her much publicized engagement and scheduled wedding to Sen. Mar Roxas, an silent and private lady has stolen the show; and basked in the thorny spotlight of showbiz and politics. Shalani is not bad for a first lady huh? Nonoy has certainly a good taste for a partner. Not at all too late yet for the son of Ninoy and Cory Aquino to have a lovely wife. For sure Noynoy is singing and dancing to the tune of "Shala-la-la, Shalani in the morning."

Is Korina lamenting at the fact that she has lost her golden opportunity to become the first lady after all her hardwork with Mar Roxas? Roxas has withdrawn his race for the top spot; Korina and Noynoy's were once lovers. But I am pretty sure her answer is a big "No", with the wedding all set and saying she is all happy with Mar with or without the politics and presidency.

But will Noynoy's girlfriend Shalani Soledad still run for a congressional set on May 2010 with having the imminent possibility of becoming a First Lady? I think she is also planning to haver her own retreat in order to reach a decision either to run for a higher public office and say "I do" in addition to the growing speculations of a wedding.

There are very interesting stuffs huh, things to look forward side-by-side the political noise that is already quite deafening.


Anyone going for Shalani Soledad? How about Korina Sanchez for our First Lady? All bets here. :D

Image by Chuvieness


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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Ani-Mo! is Back!



An-Mo! is back!

Thinking that I should have thrown this blog unto the black hole of the blogosphere since I got for myself already a self-hosted blog at Commentaries on Socio-Political Issues of PinoySoundingBoard.Com, haunted me and led me back to the blog where I started it all. It felt like a true love that has kept on bothering me and leading me back to where I started to know and experience love. Wow, I am all tears because of the overwhelming joy.

I could not just let this blog be deleted, forgotten or simply disown. This is me.


Cheesy! :D

With the elections coming nearer as everyday opens up for us and then passes us bay, putting all resources and arms ready are imperative calls for me to disseminate information, news and issues of national and personal concerns. Thus, news, political issues and commentaries will be once again posted here at Ani-Mo! and at PinoySoundingBoard with the latter more focused on commentaries while the former will more dwell on delivering all sets of news and some humor post for its loyal readers.

So that means that I will be swinging from these two blogs regularly.

Hope to see all of you guys back here and engage with me once again. :D And expect for regularly posting to resume here after this welcome post.


May the Ani-Mo be always with us.

Yahooooo! PoOf! Time to party!



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