Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Monday, March 2, 2009

Erap Joke of the Day!



Mayor: Oy, pre, bakit mukhang asar ka?

Erap: Kasi napanaginipan ko kagabi na nasa Miss Philippines contest ako at pinaligiran ng mga seksing Pinay.

Mayor: Anong nakaka-asar dun? Swerte mo nga at mga seksi ang mga kasama mo eh.

Erap: Eh, kasi ako ang nanalong Miss Philippines du'n sa panaginip ko.



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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Comic Strip Friday!!!



Ang Malupit na Kwento ng Bedol-bedol Gang!







Mag-ingat at baka kayo na ang susunod na mabiktima ng bedol-bedol gang...Kapag nabiktima, ipagbigay alam kay Mar, at bibigyan nya kayo ng abugado...dahil mahalaga ang boto nyo, ay ang bawat Pilipino pala.


*click to enlarge*

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Erap Joke of the Day!



Tindera: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina!

Erap: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko.

Tindera: Bakit po sa computer?

Erap: May “Windows” kasi ang computer ko, eh.


Har har har har naman tong joke na to! Windows pa ang gamit eh may Vista na. Har har har!


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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Comic Strip Friday!!!



Ang Hearsay ni Archbishop Cruz





*click to enlarge*

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Comic Strip Friday!!!





*click to enlarge*


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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

ZTE Scammers Shooting Gallery!



With lots of issues right now heading us, and the ZTE Scandal seems to be fading into another story to be covered by dusts and mites at some archives, all of us who were robbed with our freedom, justice and own money has to vent this flaming anger into some productive and legal means.

Well, though I am still very optimistic that all of these scammers and corrupt pigs will ultimately fall into the hands of mother justice, let us practice some cool and fun game by identifying all the bad guys and shoot 'em.

Enjoy! And record the highest score here!








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Thursday, December 6, 2007

my "rob gale" blooperscapade



Days ago, I went to Ortigas after work to meet a lady who wants to make business with me. Though already very hungry, tired, exhausted and pissed off with the guiness-world-record-only-in-the-Philippines traffic, I still kept my cool and told myself not to ruin my day, since it was already dusking anyway.

She then texted that says: "mit me at rob gale, jst txt me f ur thre n. tc" and of course with the infamous smiley.

I then replied intinctively as fast as the flash of lightning: "s rob gale ur bldg? wer s it? landmark pls"

And whoah and behold, her reply: "ei, dats ROBINSON'S GALERIA. tc" And again the smiley, but I was thinking that it was laughing out loud and jeering at me this time.

I was sitting in the bus and thinking of not proceeding to meeting the lady anymore (maski nasa megamall na ako) and just tell her that I was lost, or the traffic was really eating me up alive or just tell her that I am having an LBM. Anak ng putik, pahiya ako dun ah!

Anyway, a commitment is a commitment.

We met at Starbucks and she's a nice lady of 24. We talked about business over a cup of 150-peso coffee (mahal, kape lang naman!). And without even noticing it, we shared about our lives spontaneously. What hit me in our conversation was when she told me that she is a Catholic but is a practicing buddhist. At that, they have a group composed primarily of young professionals coming from different religions and walks of life and what binds them together is their longing and constant yearning for inner peace against the turmoils around us. The group she said, does not convert anyone who wants to join to buddhism but they are just taught there to live the way of life of a buddhist; their primary practice is meditation.

We parted ways that night with lots morsels of wisdom for one another. And thank God, my blooper and being dumb about "rob gale" never surfaced on our conversation.

I was pondering on my way home with the TV on the bus turned on. The evening news. Now far from "rob gale."

I said to myself that I need a sense of peace, inner peace.

Bad news, harrowing stories of despair, fear, anger and death very unimaginable but are happening flashing before my eyes. I know that at some points of my life I already experienced it, but now I am really longing for it. All of us were in front of the televison being forcibly fed with the evening news(?).

Inner peace. How?

And like a snap in the air, I remembered the words of my Catholic-practising-buddhism-friend: "Inner peace comes from being conscious that you want it, need it, and ultimately does it. Pray, to the One true being in our your life. Be silent and this time listen."

Yeah, I need to go back to prayer. And this time, LISTEN.

I opened my bag and took out a book about inner peace and meditation that she let me bring home.

I opened the first page: "Life is like a vast ocean. Though the drops of water are dirty, if they fall to the ocean, they does not make the ocean dirty."


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Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I am Pregnant Because of You!



really do not know why the things that I am always sharing here are those that have gone past, usually things that had happened yesterday or days ago. I am not really used to hooking myself up in front of the pc and cry out of what i feel at that very moment with the words exiting and racing through my fingers. I am not really used to such a kind of thing. I love to experience things first and look at such experiences from a distance; then share them here for public consumption. Others maybe would say that I am just streamlining the things that I want to share or talk about or write so that I could not be dissected by those who frequent my blogs. I think...No. I am just that type of person who wants to silence his big mouth first before blurting out what he thinks and feels.

As we walked out of the campus yesterday with a gloomy horizon ahead of us (I do not know why almost so many of my stories are all about our going out of the campus), some students brushed us aside as if there was a giving out of christmas gifts or palace kickbacks at gate 1 from some Santa Clause or palace official. As has always been true, going home is still the sweetest part of the scheudule of classes of students; while others maybe, will still have their last period in the mall or computer shop which make them even more excited like there's no tomorrow. While we were talking about our planned night out, a lady with a big tummy and wide smile painted on her face suddenly embraced me in front of so many students and in front of my officemates. I was left dead silent.

"Sir, tingnan mo buntis na ko. Dahil po sa inyo!"

Ha???!!! Deep inside me I was murmuring words I myself did not really even understand. What do you mean because of me??? I do not get it, my inner silent scream. Some people were already looking at us with eyes of suspicion or what the heck those staring eyes even mean! I was trying to unlock her embrace but she was just so happy to see me and tell me she was pregnant, and take note, pregnant because of me. Different thoughts were already racing inside my skull and paranoia was making me really feel very uneasy. I was telling myself that I will not be hearing the words, "you are the father" for the final salvo of the encounter at gate 1. No way! It was only then that I managed to ask her but with great caution.

"Kamusta naman po?"

"Ay Sir, alala nyo po nung nagmodule tayo tapos tinanong nyo ko kung ano wish ko. And ito po nagkatotoo na at last! Four months na."

Hah...what a sigh of relief! Vindicated from my stupidity and malicious thinking that has clouded both of my left and right brain. Yes, I remembered that module and now I remembered her! In that module, I asked each one of them about their greatest wish and had a so much fun talking about it. And that lady (her name by the way is Charlotte) said she wants to have a baby and has been praying for the angel to come to their life for a long time already. Then, all of us offered a prayer to one another and some ritual. The module ended with me telling Charlotte, "wag kang mag-alala, pagkatapos ng module na ito, mabubuntis ka na." And we all parted with smiles on our faces and happy contented hearts.

"Sir, ipapangalan ko po sa inyo ha! hehehe!" Next module ulit."

"Naku, baka mabuntis po kayo ulit sa susunod na module. Mukang gusto nyong makarami agad ah." We all laughed. "Oks po, ingatan nyo baby no ha." My last words to her.

Wooh! I was thinking of changing career. My collegues told me tat I have a very fertile tongue at that (literally? parang ang pangit!), or even qualified to become a fertility statue? Definitely it was God's hands that caressed her tummy and placed a little angel there. But for us in that module, it will constatantly be a great source of inspiration for me in the work the I do everyday...ah, no, in the ministry that I do; that God's hand and grace always work in us, overflowing in us

(Wag naman sanang mabuntis lahat ng participants ko sa module ha. Naku, patay tayo dyan!)

Rain is really pouring so hard and punishing our roof, already telling us to pack our things and head home or else we could end up floating in a sea of mud and brownish flood with all sorts of unimaginable garbages (yuck!_). Time to end and click shut down (PC). Time to go now, hopefully no pregnant lady would again tell me that she got pregnant because of me. Well, it all depends on the situation.


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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Neanderthals Don't Cry



The usual.

The day ended yesterday here at DLSU-D with the exodus of green and white rushing towards Gate 1 with some being cautious of the occasional falling from the heaven of snakes, eerie and hairy caterpillars that would make someone's face swell to unrecognizable proportion, and some other what-do-you-call-that-whatever species joining the band. My co-faculty was once victimized by these pre-historic vampires and made him end up looking like a T-Rex. We thought then that Museo De La Salle is ready to be replaced by a museum of natural history with my co-faculty in the forefront of the exhibit of dinosaurs and neanderthals. Good for him, after a dose of some medicine his face went back to its recognizable features.

The lesson therefore of the story is: Lasallians, always turn on your spider sense!

I continued my walking with great caution while four big scary (coz they look like Scary Spice from my view) guys few meters ahead of me seem not to bother the catastrophic prophesy. Their cotton candy hairstyle flogging each other's face but nobody seems to bother for maybe they are already used to the taste of their seaweed-like hair. And like any other students, they continued to crack jokes, tease each other and laugh at the top of their lungs but their hairs and looks certainly caught my attention. I was thinking that these guys will surely qualify to be placed as display in the new museum of natural history as neanderthals --now the museum collection is complete! (And hey, by the way, are their hairstyles OK in the student handbook???I)

While the three neanderthals were busy with their talking, the other one started to sing. Whoah, a prehistoric-looking man singing!

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I

I tried immediately to decipher the title of the song coz the lyrics were like morse codes being sent to some hidden and unknown military bunker in Germany. Is it a rock song? I continued to listen, eavesdropping like a pro.

We've got some straightenin' out to do


He then mumbled a more incoherent sound but managed to continue.

It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Suddenly the other three guys broke out in laughter and one of them told the one singing with a deep booming voice: Wala ka pala eh, di mo memorized ang lyrics, bading ka yata pre eh. And tunay na lalaki memorized ang lyrics ng Big Girls Don't Cry ni Fergie. He then faced the two other guys. Wala pala to eh, di memorized ang lyrics, bading mga pre, ehehhehe! And they once again broke out in laughter. Big girls don't cry.

What the!!!! Are they insane or am I the one insane???!!! What has happened to our world, are we already coming to an end!? I don't know if I were going to laugh or cry.

Certainly, I would rather end up with a swelling face and look like a saber-tooth tiger than go with these Big Neanderthals that don't cry!

The lesson of the story: Never eavesdrop with some Neanderthal-looking guys for you will never know what comes next!


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