Friday, June 5, 2009

Know the Origin of A(N1H1)



image by corkmedia
A(N1H1) virus is slowly creeping all throughout the nations of the world like a deadly plague. Though information about this deadly virus has already been well-disseminated in many institutions with so many brochures and posters hanging from one post to another, there are still I must say some vague areas about this virus that leaves many to be still very much puzzled and live with speculations or even wild imaginations.


Yesterday, the Department of Health has already officially recorded two cases of this virus at De La Salle University – Manila. This news sent jitters to different educational institutions while others pushed their panic buttons of the sheer fact that they are not indeed really prepared yet. Here in our campus, I must say that we are not that really 100% prepared yet, though we are already taking different steps in order to prevent the occurrence and spread of this virus on our academic community.

I was thinking then that one will certainly never know if his teacher has the virus while he is trying to protect himself from the heavy rainfall on the first row as the teacher actively discusses the lesson; or his hot seatmate is silently incubating the virus on her popping boobs; or the one that serves his favorite meal at the canteen is stricken with deadly disease. One will not really know unless he wears some thermal shades.

But one amazing thing about this virus is that a number of my friends have different perspectives on the nature of this issue after we discussed it while playing strip tease poker.

One.

A friend of mine opined that this A(N1H1) virus is a political tool and not really basically only a pure global health concern as we are all being oriented by the media and the happenings all over. She said that because of the global economic crisis that emanated from the U.S. sweeping the economies of all nations into dust, the U.S. government tries to put the people’s attention into a different serious issue. This is like one corruption scandal, then poof! a sex scandal of two old congressmen comes into the picture; we are then instantly focusing on something else: frequently visiting You Tube and regularly taking aspirin. And the yummy part is, therefore, she thinks that the U.S. has something to do with the virus. Poof!

Second.

Another friend told me on our discussion about this virus that just like number One, the U.S. has something to do with this. And because of the economic crisis, they will use this virus as a means to uplift the U.S. economy once again. How? Make a vaccine for A(N1H1) and certainly, it will easily sell like a box of popcorn plus a soda on a Harry Potter movie premiere. By then, tons of cash is once again on the bank vaults of Merrill Lynch and Bear Sterns. Ingenious eh?

Third.

Forgive me but I have lots of friends down here. A third friend simply put it that the Republicans are behind this virus. They lost the election miserably and are now on the backseat without any power or leverage; being investigated for their excesses and abuses. They made the virus at the ranch of George Bush. Her reason: because they need to have leverage and an upper hand on the Democrats. Geesh~

Fourth

And one friend who is like a showbiz mole told me this. That this virus actually came from the outer space! Whoah! While aliens carrying the virus on their flying saucers landed on Hollywood, some of the aliens dated Britney Spears (Remember Britney shaving her head? The virus was incubating already into her brain.) and Paris Hilton (transfer of the virus happened while she was imprisoned). Ooops, I totally forgot Lindsay Lohan! Ok, let us just forget about her anyway. That’s why it was first called a swine flu. But now it is quite scientific and more accurate A(N1H1). That is, Aliens Napped with Hollywood.


Of course, these are only opinions and we can easily spot all the flaws in the arguments here that sounded like some Tom Clancy novel and even maybe laugh at some of the half-truths and pure lies. However, if one thing that I can succinctly point out on these four reasoning is that, many are still somewhat walking in the dark when it comes to knowing this virus, how fatal this can be and how prepared we really are. We can therefore see that these four of my great friends are simply feeling the urgency of a more concrete way in handling and treating this virus. They certainly feel that this virus is as fatal as for Britney to lip-synch and do her dance moves without practice in a live awards night. And maybe they are also asking the question, why do we have this kind of virus anyway in the modern world? Maybe because we still have Britney and Paris and Linday?

Do also feel that this virus is fatal? Are you also doing measures in order to not be infected by this virus? Do also believe that Britney, Paris and Lindsay infected humanity with this virus?


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18 comments:

Holly Jahangiri said...

I like theories three and four (though a melding of the two, with a few of the aliens from #5, would make for a better movie). I can guess who came up with #1.

Entertaining, but revenues from "cold and flu remedies" are already on track to fix the world economy, and this strain of flu isn't proving to be as deadly as the ordinary seasonal flu. But we all know it originated in Mexico, just as SARS originated in Asia. And we all know PETA's behind all of it - after all, if we didn't insist on eating chicken and pork, none of this ever would've happened.

Jhay said...

The conspiracy theories never run out does it?

Each of these theories or a combination of all would make on heck of a movie!

Lucrecio Emerito said...

:D Conspiracy theories. I share Jhay's sentiment above. I came across a nice quote which says: "We are plotting FOR the world—not AGAINST it." Anyway, who lost that poker game? :D

Holly Jahangiri said...

My pet theory is that if anyone ever attempted to CURE the common cold or totally eradicate the flu, the makers of cold and flu remedies would immediately put out a hit on that person. ;)

zorlone said...

How about that? Our dear elmot has become the great detective. hehehe. Okay, hands down, rather, hands washed my good friend. For all we know, this is the start of an alien invasion! "They" are among us and are testing our immune systems as we speak.

I always thought that the Philippines is immune to these kinds of outbreaks. Remember SARS? How there used to be a scare, yet, we somehow survived, I mean, our country was spared from the heavy attacks, unlike our neighbor HK and SIN?

This time, I guess, the exclusive schools are the first to go under attack? Was it probably because, they are not used to having dirt around? Unlike in the public schools, where dirt is everywhere. Okay, not in all schools, but most of them. I went to public school (in elementary), so I would know. LOL

Anyway, these are just my conspiracies too. But, I'd stick to my theory that aliens have arrived!!! Watch out, your friends might be one of them.

Z

jan geronimo said...

I like the theory involving the Republicans. What can I say I don't have my fill yet of Republicans getting hit again and again.

Elmot, we don't even have totally eradicated malaria. We may have made giant leaps into outer space, but as far as the Earth goes? We're still ruled by pesky microbes and germs and simple organisms who prove more adaptable than us.

Elmot, please update my URL in your top 10 list. While you're at it please also inform Ms. Janette Toral of the change. Oh, wait, you can do that nga pala when you've finally completed your list of nominees. ",)

Thank you. ",)

Jena Isle said...

Hi Elmot,

These are all possible (preposterous?) scenario. As they say, "truth is stranger than fiction." There maybe some truth to what your friends concur.It has happened several times in Philippine politics - creating a diversionary headline so that the major issue would be forgotten.

Anyway, I don't want to create an intense discussion to a supposedly fun post.

It's a funny one, but you're absolutely right in pointing out that we really don't know all the facts about the virus.

Snow said...

I agree with Jena that the h1n1 virus scare also wants us to divert to some real national concerns.

And yes, I agree with you that Britney and Lindsay are virus too. In a funny different way...hhahaha...

elmot said...

@holly: ahhaha! and i think it will be the next blockbuster movie in hollywood....let me guess, it will be tom cruise on the lead role, he always takes the lead role on movies with alien invasion, whehe!

i agree, this strain is not as deadly than those virus that has become a global pandemic recorded on history books, nonetheless,some entertaining conspiracies could make us smile and spice up the issue. i just hope these stuffs did not bring more panic to people.

elmot said...

@jhay: remember the 9/11 conspiracy theory, wow, that has become a blockbuster film eh? ehehe! people jsut know how to inject some good imagination to reality, just like the writers of hollywood and regal films eheheh!

elmot said...

@luke: well, well, i got the better end of that game eh? not really the best player, but has some bits of luck on me that day... and guess what, my pet dogs, got all naked for losing the game, ehehe!

elmot said...

@zorlone: i just actually tested my instinct of becoming a detective on this stuff, but i guess i would rather play striptease poker instead.

you really love aliens eh? i guess they have come to invade us, ehehe! i am actually replying to one of them on this particular comment,e hehe! just kidding bro.

i guess, there is just too much hype on this issue, kaya to ng mga pinoy noh, tayo pa, sanay tayo sa hirap kaya.

elmot said...

@jan: and all those microbes that invade us may actually come from outer space...now im sounding like an alien-fanatic here.

anyways, don't worry, your new url is already here on my list, im just waiting for the right moment to post my updated list of influential bloggers.

elmot said...

@jena: eheh! it has indeed happened a number of time in philippine politics...would you also consider this one theory of another friend?

...that GMA's lapdogs actually put in the virus at dlsu coz it has spearheaded lots of activism against the government? hmmm..

i think i could already make one good somewhat tom clancy book from all these.

elmot said...

@snow: i guess you are not one big britney or lindsay fan eheheh!

yes, this is a big political tool that could be used to stir fear and divert attention to national issues of great concern

Adrian said...

nakakatakot naman yung picture

elmot said...

ahahha! mas nakakatakot ang mahawa at maging ganyan ang muka mo ehehe!

pero cute gawing toy di ba ehehe!

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