Monday, June 22, 2009

Don't Tell Your Children Not To Lie?

image from HA! Designs
I was quite a brave boy back in my teeny-weeny years. When my mom would ask me to buy something in the nearest sari-sari store, I could summon all rationalizations at the palm of my hand and not return some of the change just to buy myself some candies or peanut snacks with its infamous extra fake gold ring. I would then reason out to mother with an angelic smile and innocent eyes (minus of course the halo) that I lost some of the change on the tall grasses on the side of the street after being chased by our neighbor’s carnivorous pitbull (and sometimes say that I got too scared to look for those coins on the tall grasses because many said that anacondas hide on them ready to swallow lying kids…ooppps!); or I saw a poor boy along the way and, being the generous boy I was taught to become, gave him some of the coins to buy himself some food; or that I put the coins on my pocket without noticing that there was a vacuum in it.

And then my mother would give me that tiger look and searched for my pockets and take look at my hands. Pockets were OK! But lo’ and behold, there was that fake gold ring right on my middle finger! Ooops, Mom, the poor boy gave this to me. No, the pitbull placed this on my finger! No? Ah, the heavens opened up and the fairy-god-mother appeared to me like an apparition and placed this on my finger for being honest? Nah, nah, nah! On your back!

Kapoow! Kaplak! Spoosh! And the spanking session starts.

My mother taught me not to lie and really made it a point to vandal my butt with her lessons if I dare use my very fertile imagination to reason out on very obvious bare-faced lies. She will never really pass a single moment not to correct any bad attitude on my part especially being the eldest. And as far as my experience is concerned, the hardest hits I got were when I lied to her.

Children are taught to always be true and honest; never lie even if it is what you call white lies, if there is really such thing. We are so angry when people lie to us, for it is not only a matter of bending or breaking the facts of the case that seemingly makes us inutile but more than that is the insult it brings to a given trust. I could still always here ringing in my ears my mother admonishing me that telling the truth is always a truth and a lie will always be a lie; it is not complicated at all, the truth is non-negotiable.

General Garcia, Off the Hook Again on 3rd Perjury Case? And Other Liars.D
on’t look at me that way, I am in no way related to him. This is not a paid-post or a PR campaign for Gen. Croc Garcia.

But this fomer AFP Comptroller who is alleged to have amassed a total of P330 million in total fortunes has once again escaped from the very short arms of justice being acquitted from his third perjury case. He defended himself saying that his non-declaration of his assets in his SALN which are worth P1.5 million were done “in good faith” and that he did not know that he has also to declare the two other cars bought by his wife. Damn!

I could have yawned on this one but acquitting a big time robber for the third time for lying (minus yet the crime of graft and corruption) is not only a big blow to the justice system but renders all the people as nothing but inutile spectators on an orchestrated show. The truth will set you free so they say, but in this case, a lie has set free a plunderer and liar.

All those guys in the government know how things work; or how to make a bare-faced lie without being punished? Of course, those robbers and plunderers are not going to place all those stolen fortunes on their names, dimwit! Remembered all those Marcos cronies and dummy corporations? Or all those Swiss accounts of the man-with-multiple-personality Jose Pidal? How about Imelda’s own loot of expensive jewelries? And that of Erap’s numerous mansions?

They have to place their loots on cronies, dummy corporations, dubious Swiss accounts with phony names and of course on their wives, sons, daughters, mistresses and relatives. And all they have to say is” “Hey, I am not the owner of that, is it under my name? See, my dog Blackie owns it? Go get yourself a lawyer and I will file a P10 million libel case against you.” Kaboom!

If my mother could only be the lady justice, she could have served all these liars and plunderers and many others unmentioned with a sizzling bamboo stick for them to learn their lessons the hard and painful way. She could have tattooed all their butts and even include their faces with her sermons of always holding on to the truth.

Sad fact is: many obvious lies, but with their celebrity lawyers and tons of cash, they could circumvent the law and make a very simple thing complicated to their own advantage.

Stop Telling Your Children Not to Lie?

It makes therefore the efforts of most parents end with futility or even the practice of discipline to our children more challenging than ever, for in the real world, in the media, our children could only see crooked lines being made straight and lies transformed into dogmas for everyone to easily embrace.

Most often than not, the culture of corruption not only confined in the cubicles of government service but also in the private sector seeps through the cracks of our family. Taking the abovementioned instances, I am also being confronted by students about cheating as for them but natural so long as one should not get caught. While some of them even challenges me on why should I impose a no cheating-policy when everyone especially those who are getting rich are doing it anyway? He dropped the bomb right on my face!

I guess I would always go back to the way how my mother disciplined me: the truth will always be the truth, a lie is a lie, it is not complicated at all, and the truth is non-negotiable. One should never get tired or cynic just because everyone is doing and going the opposite.

Off now, my mom is calling me to go to the sari-sari store.

What is your reaction to my post and commentary guys? Do you think that there is really a changing landscape of honesty today? How were you disciplined by your parents as regards to the value of honesty? Be honest….LOL!

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The Bad Blogger said...

Honestly, I have lie so much in my life, I can't even count, there are big lies, small lies and even worst lies in my life, but who do not lie?
Till today, I doesn't know what lies is within me, but I try to be as honest as i can and face the fact of what I have done.
I really doesn't know what to say about this, as i have no question... Lie is a wrong factor in life...

Jose Dennio said...

Totoo ang sinasabi mo. The government has mastered the art of lying by using technicalities that don't really matter.

At ako mismo ay isang halimbawa ng taong sinira ng mga kasinungalingan. Nagsinungaling sa mundo at sa sarili na wala akong problema. Ayun, lalabas at lalabas din talaga.

Kaya ngayon, hangga't maaari, pinipilit ko sabihin kung ano ang totoo.

Jade said...

Everybody is cheating - it's a sad fact right. I don't really know what to think of this. I mean of everybody I transact with in the Philippines be it in public or private sector...they lie to my face in one way or another.

It frustrates me me sometimes but what can I do, it seems like the norm now. I don't know how this will ever change.

pehpot said...

napaisip ako ah.. with my kids, I always tell them to tell the truth, not for good conduct and other chuva but for better judgment (specially when I have ot judge who started a fight) and for their safety.. I know that someday this boys will tell a lie and it's not that I don't care, I juts knew their logic is better than to tell the truth.

Make or Break

elmot said...

thanks for the visit bro. i guess we lied once in our life for sure, and there are so many reasons for it. but what underlies everyone is the fact that we are also feeling the pinch of guilt after lying on something.

indeed, lies are wrong factors in life. >:o

elmot said...

thanks for the visit here jose. grabe nga eh, kasi dahil sa sistema at kultura na ang pagsisinungaling sa ating pamahalaan ay maski ang mga taong ayaw magsinungaling ay minsan napipilitan gawin ito. pati sila ay nilalamon na rin ng sistema.

at tama ka doon, ang totoo ay lalabas at lalabas din. minsan maski masakit talaga ang katotohanan, wala tayong magagawa, ganun talaga.

elmot said...

and everyone is doing it right esp in the government? it is so normal like your eating or eating? darn.

it is so frustrating indeed, i share your frustration that is why i made this post. but we need not be swallowed by frustration and end up as cynics...for if we will just allow ourselves to be the same persons that we hate, these things we hate will just perpetuate.

elmot said...

napaisip ka ba? ehehe!

tama...hindi naman natin laging mababantayan ang mga bata na dinidisiplina natin, pero sa pagdidisiplina natin, tinuturuan natin silang matuto na tumimbang sa sarili nila kung ano ang wasto sa mali, ang totoo sa huwad.

that is i think our greatest hope to all those we discipline and are under our care.

Recent blog post: The site does not match member ID8689

Major Tom said...

I really enjoyed your childhood tale about lying and the lessons it presents. I do have similar experiences before, and I could really, really relate.

It's true, as much as possible, our children should be taught at a very young age about the pitbull of lying, so that they wont grow old to be bad citizens of this country.

elmot said...

ahahha! don't worry major tom, my tales are all true, promise...that is why many of us could relate to these kinds of childhood adventures.

i agree...starting with the young, plus teaching them never to compromise the truth no matter what happens even if they lured by wealth and easy money.

jan said...

Pre, here's my modus operandi:

1. I don't lie. I just omit the inconvenient facts.
2. I don't lie. I just embellish the truth.
3. I don't lie. I just refuse to speak for the good reason the speaking may incriminate me.
4. I don't lie. I want to spare you the truth.

As Jack Nicholson says in his movie with Tom Cruise: "Can you handle the truth?!"

Seriously? If you ask me the right questions you'd get truthful answers. So be careful with your questions - you might not like the answers. Good questions provoke me to be truthful. And once provoked? I don't lie. Ahahaha.

What's so attractive about the truth anyway? Lies are more interesting, more fascinating. Especially if you're the one with the magnifying glass and lie detector contraption. Oh, di ba?

Congrats on the JS-Kit. ",)


Jun Jun said...

Ok Nice blog

join kayo if you want

Jhay said...

Well, the truth as I've said earlier is relative.

However, being honest is universal.

yatot said...

ako i don't lie when it comes to money... alam nila sa bahay na kapag sinabi kong wala akong pera... wala talaga akong pera... otherwise... nagla-lie ako kapag joke time... magaling akong maggawa ng mga kuwento... that's telling a lie in a funny way... but then again, people are different... merong iba dyan... sobrang bihasa na talaga sa hindi pagsasabi ng totoo... nakakainis na... huling-huli mo na... ayaw pang sabihin...

meron namang mga bagay na kelangan mo na talagang magsabi ng hindi totoo.. dahil alam mong may magbabago somewhere along the process at alam mong ayaw mong mangyari iyon... like telling somebody that you like her/him... dahil ayaw mong mawala ang kung ano mang relasyon meron kayo sa ngaun... di ba tama naman ako? wahehehhe :-P

Dfish said...

Haha, what a soul-provoking post. Naalala ko tuloy ang mga mompo at ostiya at iba pang items na hinaharbat namin bago at pagkatapos ng misa haha.Dioskopo, patawad ulit...
I enjoy the post Elmot. And the tone and style, it feels like reading one newspaper column seriously.
About Garcia's acquittal - lutong macao na naman... >:o

elmot said...

hahaha! i like your modus Pre! i think i am quite familiar with such tactics... and the jack nicholson, wow! one of my most favorite film of all time and of course one of my most favorite line.

and that is why i like on having conversations with you. you are honest and direct with your answers, and also with cordiality, despite being bombarded with useless manipulations by other people.

lies are more interesting? hmmm...truth vs. lies, once classis tug war esp on the buzz, ehehe! heard them saying every sunday, bare all, etc...the whole truth...exclusive. darn! ek-ek...

elmot said...

thanks for the visit here. i will certainly check out that group. :D hope to see you here more often bro. *wink*

elmot said...

i like that line bro...ehehhe! you got it. see you later on the con-ass with fr. bernas.

jan said...

About lies being more fascinating? I don't advocate lies. I'm just comment-baiting. Ahahaha.

But it's quite true. I'd love to unearth lies myself, especially if they're the other fellow's lies. In every lie lurks a fascinating story. It's compelling and like a novel a must read. ",)

Aha, a Jack Nicholson fan eh? Well, I lap up everything about Jack Nicholson. That man is a freaking genius. Except of course Jack's love of Lakers. That's the fly in the ointment in my love of Jack.

jan said...

Intriguing. Do tell more, Yatot. I'm all ears. :)

jan said...

OMG. That's very funny - nangharbat ng ompo at ostiya? Huwaw - I wish I had done that in my youth, Darbs.

I particularly like the juxtaposition of soul-searching and panghaharbat ng ostiya. OMG, Darbs. You're a hoot! :-P

ever said...

ganun din ako dati pambili ng jolens...sabi ko binili ko ng tinapay...nice story and true.

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DiTesco @Internet Business Entrepreneur said...

What! Me, I never lie. Not even when I was a kid. I don't lie ever because I like to say only the truth..Hahaha. I am lying myself out here right now. Lying is wrong, but sometimes a white lie or omitting the truth makes the best of both worlds. It is something that we can say that in certain circumstances it is better than hurting someones feelings. I guess it really depends on the situation. BTW, Elmot... "The Truth Is Out There". Sounds familiar, lol. I love watching the X-Files:)

elmot said...

wow, new system on comment-baiting? well, i think i will beg-off this time on employing that tactic, ehehe!

isn't it that all novels are actually a web of lies, that is why they are all bestsellers? hahha!

yes, i like jacko, minus of course his being a one big LA fan screaming his heart out in the court feeling like the coach. but the man is a god, you know what i mean? at his age, ladies are still lap dancing him eh?

elmot said...

naintriga din ako sa pagkashowbiz mo dito ah... im smelling romance, ooops, a tale of a hopeless romantic in the air? ay mali...

gwapo mo talaga master yatot! share mo naman dito ang detalye ng mga pangyayari hehe

elmot said...

patay tayo dyan! soul provoking kaya inamin mo dito na ikaw ang umuubos ng hostia at mompo ni padre...patay ka nagbabasa ng blog ko pari nyo ehehe!

(crossed fingers) well, ako rin pala...dun sa sacristy, ehehe! inuman tayo darbs! eheheh!

elmot said...

fan ka pala ni jolens ah! ehehhe! ay hindi, mahilig ka pala magjolens...ehehe! magandang title ng pelikula yan..."ang himala: transformation ng tinapay sa jolens" eheheh

elmot said...

haha! you better tell us the truth here, hot mommas doing some pole dancing are reading.

of course, everything i wrote is not totally a dogma. it also depends on the situation.

yeah, eerie...the X files! love that show.

jan said...

Nope, not his acting like a coach. I mean his liking Lakers team. I don't
like the Lakers team. And I don't have to justify my position, okay?

Zorlone said...


I think I am guilty of lies. Okay, scratch that, I know I lied a lot of times even at a young age. I can say thatI was a pioneer in my youth (ah... bata pa pala ako until now whaaa).

There are very good reasons why I lied

1. lies were easier to tell

I learned that as long as you know what you lied about in the first place and stick to it, you can get away with almost anything (I said almost coz most of the time, I got spanked)

Confession: I am a terrible liar :(

2. you gain more friends

"Ang ganda ng laruan mo!" I used to tell this to my friends left and right. I didn't even knew what their toys were. LOL. I found out that it was more of an ice breaker and I got to know them more.

Confession: I wasn't able to play with their toys (see confession number 1)

3. compliments are easy to tell

You feel like telling the truth would sometimes hurt their feelings. I once my friend that she looks pretty, she accepted the compliment.

Confession: she thought I had a crush on her and decided to make me her boyfriend. I was just a 9 year old kid!!! What do I know about that?

Well, moral of this comment is if you lie, be ready with the consequences. People will end up finding the truth in one way or another. Least of all, if you lie to your country, why would you run for a government office in the first place?


dFish said...

Haha, Jan - naalimpungatan ka ano, kala mo kambal ni darbs to. Kainuman lang po...

jan said...

DFish - OMG. What a blooper. Ahahaha.

Am I even allowed to say OMG in your presence? :-P

I'm sorry Dfish. :-[ Perhaps this is God's way of getting back atcha? And I was His unwitting instrument? :)

jan said...

Off-topic, preng Elms:

The hot mommas at JS-Kit has this to say in the Recent blog post..[immediately below the comment box]: The site does not match member ID8689.

Pre, illegal immmigrant ka pala. Where are you from? Mainland China? Russia? :-P

jan said...

Personally, I hate lies, especially when I am at the receiving end of them.

But, frankly, I do lie. But not very often because it's quite a bother remembering all those untruthful things you say. And I have a poor memory. Recipe for disaster, right?

elmot said...

ahaha! ok, got that. our dear friend who is already missed by everyone is one big laker fan. di pa naghihilom yata?

elmot said...

ooops! sorry too dfish, nalasing lang sa mompo ni padre kaya darbs rin nasabi ko, eheheh!

elmot said...

wow! im not a padre here nor i think we are in a confession box here my dear friend z, but that was quite a sharing here, ehehe!

and at an early age, your sex appeal (courtesy of that unfounded compiment) really worked out.

i agree, when you lie, be ready with the consequences of your actions. and what is more difficult in lying, is that you are bound if you are not to correct those lies to continue lying so as not to get caught. and so, one weave a web of lies.

this is something very difficult to live with.

politicians? i think they perfected the art of lying.

elmot said...

ahaaha! ayun, gumagana na ang commentluv form ko!!!! waahahha! :-D

Recent blog:=- Don't Tell Your Children Not To Lie?

Bingkee said...

This was discussed in our church too---holding up to a responsibility and maintaining integrity is dependent on your ability to tell the truth. The trouble is , with our society today, the right can become wrong and wrong can become right ---depending upon a situation. In this area, it is right, and in that area, it is wrong. Lies are now truths and truths are lies because of the trends of society. To be accepted in such a society, people can compromise their integrity. People twist the truth to conform to their lifestyle , their aspiration and their beliefs---so that is why values are twisted too.
Sadly, it has become the norm. But to those who remain in the wisdom of a supreme God, lie is always a lie, and there is no in-between no matter what and no matter where.
But there are times, people can get caught up in troubles and don't want to confront more troubles, so they lie. But they don't realize not telling the truth is leading to more disaster and a heavy burden on the conscience.
AS for me, I don't say I am not guilty of telling lies, but as much as possible I avoid it since I am not good at it anyway. I am a poor liar.
And everytime I lie, I get caught and got I really do avoid lying and always tell the truth.
It's also easy for me to tell the truth because I am the kind of person who is very assertive, frank, and open----I have to tell you exactly what and how it is---no beating around the bush.


elmot said...

what is so difficult and i think so dangerous is when an individual has become so used to lying and gets used to doing it all the time.

as i shared on one of my previous comments, when we start to lie, and would want to never get caught lying, we are dangerously weaving a web of lies, and living on a world of lies.

the truth should never be compromised

Amor said...

Speaking of not returning the change, gawain din yan ng 4 year old son ko, but he doesn't buy anything naman, nilalagay nya lang sa coin bank nya.

About lies, akala ko dati hindi nagsisinungaling ang mga bata, pero siguro dahil sa imagination nila nakakapag sinungaling sila, parang hindi nila maihiwalay yung truth sa imagination. For example kapag pinapakain ko ang anak ko at ayaw na nya he would say masakit na tummy ko kahit alam ko namang hindi. Although I would tell him naman it's bad to lie pero paminsan minsan lumulusot talaga. At ako ay guilty rin naman of lying. Kahit ba white lies yun, lies pa rin. And although I know that the truth must set you free, I still believe that some truth must not be said at all times. It depends on the situation.

Recent blog:=- Sean’s Prayers and Endless Questions

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